How to Ask Better Questions: The Lost Art of Listening

Do you find it challenging to ask meaningful and thought-provoking questions? Are you often met with blank stares or one-word answers? It may be time to brush up on the lost art of listening and learn how to ask better questions. In a fast-paced and digital world, effective communication can often take a backseat, leaving many feeling disconnected and unheard. But by honing your listening skills and asking better questions, you can deepen your connections and foster more meaningful conversations. In this blog, we will explore the importance of asking better questions, the art of active listening, and provide practical tips to improve your communication skills. Join us as we rediscover the power of asking better questions and truly listening to those around us.

How to Ask Better Questions: The Lost Art of Listening

Empathy and Customer Centricity

What’s up New York we’re here at the hot sauce conference 2023 I just gave a talk on the Lost Art of listening check it out I was invited to speak and I was asked to speak on the theme of empathy and customer centricity about how to build meaningful connections with people. It got me to think about this a lot and I want to get a little meta with you today.

It’s I I also just want to tell you I hate public speaking and here am as a public speaker what I really like to do is to have conversations with People so I’m going to hijack the format of a talk and just turn it into a slightly interactive conversation here’s something else if you know me I love making slides and I’m known to make like 278 slides for a 30-minute talk so today it’s just kind of a very unusual thing I Made 17 slides and I’ve given up control of my presentation I sent the event organizers pngs I know it’s like live dangerously and everything okay so today I want to talk to you about the Lost Art of listening a dialogue on deliberate Discovery and I use chat gbt to help me Do that cuz I don’t know how to write titles for my own talks but I was really thinking about this idea about dialogue and conversation because often times we up here we want to do well we want to give you lots of information but I think We just talk right above you and I want to try to pull you into this conversation.

Karen’s Story

I’m going to share a story with you it’s a Karen story I know right but it’s not that kind of Karen she’s actually Karen and she’s a former student of mine and she Wanted to study under me my protege if you will and Karen was getting into this really frustrated State and she goes and and she was an illustrator and she goes Chris how do I charge the kind of money that you’re able to get because it’s really frustrating to go out there and Time After Time present your price to people and then get knocked down.

I said so what is it that you think that allows me to command the kind of price price that I do versus what you’re able to do she was clearly Because you have all the credentials like what tell me what the credentials are well you have Awards well you’ve graduated I’m still a student you have this body of work and you have all these logos and you have this portfolio I said okay well I’d like to challenge your Logic here you guys are following the story right and maybe you’ve been there yourself where you look at a company that’s bigger than you in whatever category that you’re in you’re like I wish I had what they had that’s the thing that’s holding me back from achieving success makes sense so let’s Try something here why don’t we switch portfolios I’ll give you my portfolio I’ll take yours and let’s go and present to the same client what do you imagine would happen would you be able to then say that you can command the price what do you think what do you think she Said no so then she’s like well but you have all this experience I said well how does one communicate to somebody else that they have experienced what is it that they’re doing or not doing I’m just car is what you think that answer the answer to that question is Listening okay that’s a good guess who else confidence confidence tell me more about confidence where are you the lights like right in my eye if I look right at I’m G to have a migraine okay go ahead confidence …

…I just want to put yourself in a scenario you’re a sought after expert F in the category whatever industry that you’re in and somebody comes up to you and asks you a question throw a question at me please no no no no not Alex you’re not Allowed to yes please we’ll …

FAQ

What is the lost art of listening?

The lost art of listening refers to the decline in the ability to truly pay attention and understand what others are saying. In our fast-paced world, people often struggle to give their full attention, leading to missed opportunities for meaningful communication.

How can I improve my listening skills?

To improve your listening skills, start by making a conscious effort to give your full attention to the speaker. Avoid interrupting and try to understand the speaker’s perspective before formulating a response. Practice active listening by asking clarifying questions and summarizing what you’ve heard.

Why is asking better questions important?

Asking better questions can lead to more meaningful and productive conversations. It shows that you are genuinely interested in the other person’s thoughts and can help uncover new insights and perspectives. By asking better questions, you can also demonstrate empathy and build stronger connections with others.

Is there a connection between listening and asking better questions?

Yes, listening and asking better questions are closely intertwined. By actively listening to the speaker, you can better understand their point of view and tailor your questions to elicit more insightful responses. Good listening skills are essential for asking better questions and fostering deeper communication.

How can I incorporate these principles into my daily interactions?

Start by being more mindful of your listening habits and making a conscious effort to be fully present in conversations. Practice asking open-ended questions that encourage the speaker to share more about their thoughts and feelings. By making these practices a habit, you can improve your communication skills and strengthen your relationships with others.

I hope you find useful my article How to Ask Better Questions: The Lost Art of Listening, I also recommend you to read my other posts in my blog.

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